The Balance


I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend. As men, or good friends, I’m not sure which provides the most buffer, we are able to pick up a conversation with ease, despite years of silence. Any time I talk with my friends I am met with a Q&A from my wife afterwards. Every question she asks is one she assumes I had asked of them, and she is always met with disappointing results.

“How’s his wife?”

“Fine, I guess.”

“And the kids?”

“I don’t know. Alive.”

“Is he still working at that place?”

“I’m not sure. I think so.”

“What did you guys even talk about?”

Shrug. “Stuff.”

My friend has a writing project he wants to begin but was having trouble getting started. We agreed to help each other, with motivation, and with ideas, edits, etc. Some people say things at the end of conversations like “we should really have that barbecue sometime” and you both know you’re never having that barbecue, but I’m too old for insincerities. I told him I would push him on his project and so I have.

He asked me how I keep a balance between my novel and this blog, and family and work (implied). I really don’t think there is a balance, or at least not one I could achieve on my own. I am a man of single focus, which means when I work on something I work on that thing. It is how my brain functions, and I know this. Luckily my wife knows this too and keeps me grounded with our family. She makes sure that we spend time together, and I appreciate that, because life would be pretty dull without them.

The balance takes support, at least one other person on the end of the seesaw. Get the right people over there to ride the ups and downs with you. Otherwise you’ll just have your ass in the dirt, and then have to make that really awkward dismount.

How do you keep a balance in your life? Can you do it alone?

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  1. Great post on a great topic. I’m struggling right now to have balance. I need the right people on the end of my teeter-totter, and it was recently upset by having too many people on one side! I like your insight into male friendship/conversation, too. I don’t know how you guys can talk for an hour and discuss nothing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good point. The wrong people or too many people throw off the balance. It is strange how men talk. We rarely share our emotions and stick to trivial discussion, but we are nonetheless good friends.

      Liked by 1 person

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