“What have you to report, scout?” the chancellor asked with more curtness than usual. The rest of the foreign affairs council looked equally bothered, wearing their traditional shimmering brown smocks and smug faces. Perhaps he should have finalized his report sooner, but he was actually having fun with his assignment, at least in the end.

“I have been away long, and I do apologize, but a scout’s report with unconfirmed details would fail to serve the fine council.” That won them over. It was subtle, but he could sense them relaxing.

“Continue.”

“You have read my report.” He knew they had not. “To summarize, the ruling class on Earth are humans. They enjoy smelling, both foul and fair. To our senses, the odors are inversely interpreted. They also enjoy conflict. Those who do not initiate conflict, rally its development. Now that I reflect further, most of their fragrant rituals are in direct conflict with their natural scent. This would confirm that conflict is their most paramount joy.”

The council turned to each other and mumbled softly. He always assumed this was for show, and they were actually just discussing lunch. The chancellor returned his attention to the scout and the others quieted.

“Thank you, scout. The council will inform the ambassador to smell very strongly upon his arrival and begin an immediate conflict. This should effectively woo the humans.”

The scout was dismissed. He made some distance from the city hub so he would avoid dining in the same facility as the council. He sat alone in the corner, staring out the window at the many species intermingling on Central Station. His next assignment would be soon, but he missed Samantha. Maybe he should have made his report inconclusive. Then they would have sent him back.

End.

I really liked writing this. I wonder how much of the scout’s thoughts were influenced by human interaction. I like the interpretation of our species and the idea of a peaceful alien group only starting a conflict because they think we’d like it.

What did you think? Let me know in the comments!

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